Well hello there

Hi. I'm Heidi. I'm like a mini-person, though there's a high level of debate amongst my friends about whether I'm actually a human being at all. 

 

I like long words and short showers, hot baths and cold days, stormy weather at the beach and calm people to converse with. 

 

I live on caffeine. And air, obviously. And water, which is useful. 

 

I would love to own a bookshop, mainly so that I could be Bernard from Black Books. I am more like Mac from Green Wing though, in some ways; and also rather like Alan Statham. I can name all sorts of British birds, because I was very boring as a child and liked to watch them. 

 

If you have no idea what Black Books and Green Wing are, you really need to see them. Now. Along with Dylan Moran and Bill Bailey generally. 

 

I befriend anyone who is unlucky enough to cross my path, and make no distinctions between five-year-olds and fifty-year-olds. Because really, they're all the same. People. 

 

I am terrified of human beings, but manage to function among them because I have to. I have numerous jobs, though not as many as I did when I lived in London. I think living in the City made me work more: there's an attitude of stress that you can cut with a knife. Now I live in the countryside, and I'm a little more chilled.